D.C Update

My Dear Family and Friends,

  Well I just noticed that Corey posted. I'll admit I found it a little funny that no one has posted in over a month but Corey and I both thought to at the same time. Totally inspired. Anyways, I thought I'd give a lot of the pictures from the semester as a bit of an update. I think I'll post more once more get on to Facebook, but there are plenty for now.
  As far as my life goes, I can honestly say that this was one of the best semesters ever. I am so glad I took advantage of the opportunity to come out here to D.C.. I have made so many friends but have also understood how much people appreciate hard work. I think the most satisfying part of the whole experience is knowing that I could get a job on the Hill had I tried. The staffers really appreciated what Madison and I did and we had so much fun.
  As you all know by now, Kirsten and I broke up. Not much to say there...just looking for the right one and well, you know what I mean.
  I feel like I could rant, but I'll just do it storybook style, the pictures below are in chronological order.

I have to have an obligatory monument picture:

So Madison and I were helping out with a press conference for the Speaker and we saw the open podium at the podium was open at the end so we asked the press people if we could take a super quick picture. I think we look dang photogenic:

So this is what I call my shutdown ball. The day before the government shutdown Will (my supervisor) suggested that I try making a rubber band ball out of all the rubber bands we get from petitions (which as you can see are quite a few). This is the status of my ball at the end of the shutdown:

For Halloween we did a Jack-o-Lantern project and well...let's just say the girls in my group are a little obsessed with the Walking Dead:

Madison and I were walking home from work one day and couldn't resist:

Ten points to anyone that can tell me what I made with these water cups one day when I clearly had too much time on my hands:

This was on our class trip to Gettysburg, it was such a great trip! Names are as follows: Kirsten, Sam, Taylor, Cameron, Sam, Emily, Amy, Harrison, Ivanna, and Flaka. Cameron has been a really great friend of mine, we ride the bus together to work everyday and get along so well. Taylor is a blast because she probably has the most similar sense of humor to mine out of everybody here in the Barlow. As far as the rest, they are just all awesome! Oh yeah! This is Gettysburg College's campus, such a beautiful place.

The family came and visited! And I just love these two dorks so much.

The World War Two memorial is so powerful with the Lincoln in the background.

This is right outside of Union Station, where I get on the bus everyday after work. Madison and I took this picture on our way back from work one day. She had just found out that her dad's cancer returned, she was crushed. As we waited for Kirsten though we saw this sky and it just reminded me how beautiful this world is:

Just outside of my office:

Winona and Jason Silas came out to D.C.. Jason and his two daughters were the last family that got baptized on the mission, they were baptized and confirmed my last Sunday (Winona was a member). They came out to D.C. for a code-talker's ceremony (Winona's grandfather was a world war two code-talker). Kirsten and I went out to dinner with them and it was amazing to catch up. They're doing so well. Sorry about the crappy photo.

Just so you know what's happening on Luke's Instagram :).

The missionaries got to see the balcony!

The Capitol Christmas tree lighting. Its a giant tree! 88 feet tall.

There's a new Anchorman exhibit at the Newseum. I spent all day this past Saturday there. Such an amazing and emotionally powerful museum. I loved the JFK stuff after reading Killing Kennedy this summer.

Madison got back last week and came with me to our ward party last Saturday. It has been amazing to have her as a friend here in D.C.. Can't wait to stay in touch with her and have a lifelong friend.

Snapchat. No other explanation necessary.

The view from the balcony in today's snow. So gorgeous.

Finally, some pictures from our Barlow Talent show. Cameron read "poetry" (Brittney Spears lyrics) while the other Sam and I interpretative danced. I don't know how we both ended up carrying the other one.

So, as you can see, I'm loving my time here! D.C. has been great and I'm so glad to be here. Can't wait to come home! I miss you all and can't wait to see all of you except Jacko soon!

With Love, Forever and Always, Sam

A Little British Humor

Hi family,
I've been listening to some Bill Bryson books on my commute lately (just finished one called At Home: A Short History of Private Life that I think Lexi would enjoy - it was fascinating) and I came across this lovely piece of dry British humor. Having prepared our taxes for the last few years, I particularly enjoyed this and I hope you will as well. :)

Love,
Corey

YOUR TAX FORM EXPLAINED

By Bill Bryson

Enclosed is your 1997 United States Internal Revenue Service Tax Form 1040-ES OCR: 'Estimated Tax for Self-Employed Individuals'. You may use this form to estimate your 1997 fiscal year tax if:

1. You are head of a household and the sum of the ages of your spouse and dependents, minus the ages of qualifying pets (see Schedule 12G), is divisible by a whole number. (Use Supplementary Schedule 142C if pets are deceased but buried on your property.)

2. Your Gross Adjusted Income does not exceed your Adjusted Gross Income (except where applicable) and you did not pay taxable interest on dividend income prior to 1903.

3. You are not claiming a foreign tax credit, except as a 'foreign' tax credit. (Warning: claiming a foreign tax credit for a foreign 'tax' credit, except where a foreign 'tax credit' is involved, may result in a fine of $125,000 and 25 years' imprisonment.)

4. You are one of the following: married and filing jointly; married and not filing jointly; not married and not filing; jointed but not filing; other.

INSTRUCTIONS

Type all answers with a number two lead pencil. Do not cross anything out. Do not use abbreviations or ditto marks. Do not misspell 'miscellaneous'. Write your name, address and social security number, and the name, address and social security numbers of your spouse and dependents, in full on each page twice. Do not put a tick in a box marked 'cross' or a cross in a box marked 'tick' unless it is your wish to do the whole thing again. Do not write 'Search me' in any blank spaces. Do not make anything up.

Complete sections 47 to 52 first, then proceed to even-numbered sections and complete in reverse order. Do not use this form if your total pensions and annuities disbursements were greater than your advanced earned income credits or vice versa.

Under 'income', list all wages, salaries, net foreign source taxable income, royalties, tips, gratuities, taxable interest, capital gains, air miles, pints paid on, and money found down the back of the sofa. If your earnings are divided wholly, or partially but not primarily, or wholly and partially but not primarily, from other countries other than the United States (if uncertain, see USIA Leaflet 212W, 'Countries That Are Not The United States') or your rotated gross income from Schedule H was greater than your earned income credit on nontaxable net disbursements, you must include a Grantor/Transferror Waiver Voucher. Failure to do so may result in a fine of £1,500,000 and seizure of a child.

Under Section 890F, list total farm income (if none, give details). If you were born after 1 January 1897, and are not a widow(er), include excess casualty losses and provide carryover figures for depreciation on line 27iii. You must list number of turkeys slaughtered for export. Subtract, but do not deduct, net gross dividends from pro rata interest payments, multiply by the total number of steps in your home, and enter on line 356d.

On Schedule F1001, line c, list the contents of your garage. Include all electrical and non-electrical items on Schedule 295D, but do not include electrical or non-electrical items not listed on Supplementary Form 243d.

Under 'Personal Expenditures', itemize all cash expenditures of more than $1, and include verification. If you have had dental work and you are not claiming a refund on the federal oil spill allowance, enter your shoe sizes since birth and enclose specimen shoes. (Right foot only.) Multiply by 1.5 or 1,319, whichever is larger, and divide line 3f by 3d. Under Section 912g, enter federal income support grants for the production of alfalfa, barley (but not sorghum, unless for home consumption) and okra whether or not you received any. Failure to do so may result in a fine of $3,750,000 and death by lethal injection.

If your children are dependent but not living at home, or living at home but not dependent, or dependent and living at home but hardly ever there and you are not claiming exemption for leases of maritime vessels in excess of 12,000 tons dead-weight (15,000 tons if you were born in Guam), you must complete and include a Maritime Vessel Exemption Form. Failure to do so may result in a fine of $111,000,000 and a nuclear attack on a small, neutral country.

On pages 924-926, Schedule D, enter the names of people you know personally who are Communist or use drugs. (Use extra pages if necessary.)

If you have interest earnings from savings accounts, securities, bearer bonds, certificates of deposit or other fiduciary instruments but do not know your hat size, complete Supplementary Schedules 112d and 112f and enclose all relevant tables. (Do not send chairs at this time.) Include, but do not collate, ongoing losses from mining investments commodities transactions and organ transplants, divide by the total number of motel visits you made in 1996, and enter in any remaining spaces. If you have unreimbursed employee expenses, tough.

To compute your estimated tax, add lines 27 through 964, deduct lines 45a and 699f from Schedule 2F (if greater or less than 2.2% of average alternative minimum estimated tax for the last five years), multiply by the number of RPMs your car registers when stuck on ice, and add 2. If line 997 is smaller than line 998, start again. In the space marked 'Tax Due', write a very large figure.

Make your cheque payable to 'Internal Revenue Service of the United States of America and to the Republic for Which It Stands', and mark for the attention of Patty. On the back of your cheque write your social security number, Taxpayer Identification Number, IRS Tax Code Audit Number(s), IRS Regional Office Sub-Unit Zone Number (unless you are filing a T/45 Sub-Unit Zone Exclusion Notice), sexual orientation and smoking preference, and send to:

Internal Revenue Service of the United States of America
Tax Reception and Orientation Center
Building D/Annex G78
Suite 900
Subduction Zone 12
Box 132677-02
Drawer 2, About Halfway Back
Federal City
Maryland 10001

If you have any questions about filing, or require assistance with your return, phone 1-800-BUSYSIGNAL. Thank you and have a prosperous 1998. Failure to do so may result in a fine of $125,000 and a long walk to the cooler.